Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
