hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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