i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
