just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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