Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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