I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
