I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize