Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize