I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
