she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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