that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he fucked my hip out of place.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
