All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
