Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
