So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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