I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
