help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
