okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
