She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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