I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
