We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
