HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
