I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you didnt know i had herpes?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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