sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize