Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
