I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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