He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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