I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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