i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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