i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
