I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
