yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
