Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize