Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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