the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
