New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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