I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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