I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
