Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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