seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
