Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
