$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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