My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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