please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
