Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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