yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
