just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
