does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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