I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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