So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's blow job season.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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