I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't put those talents on a resume
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
