we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
