Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The power of my boobs compel you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
