I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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