is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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