yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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