i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
