My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
