my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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