Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
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