all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
